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Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Tag: Anakin Skywalker

Measure of a Snowman

Location: World Between Worlds Panel 1: Frosty the Snowman: “Happy birthday!” 2: Anakin Skywalker (old ghost): “Ahsoka, this is Frosty the Snowman.” Ahsoka: “How do you do?” Frosty: “Not well. I’m having something of an existential crisis.” 3: Frosty: “Some children built me out of snow. My body is composed entirely of water. I have no organs or even a brain. Yet I can talk and move and laugh and play and have existential crises. I’m only alive – if you can call it that – because of this magic hat. Am I a person? Or am I just an old silk hat fantasizing of anthropomorphism? Do I have a soul, Ahsoka?” Ahsoka: “Um. All are one with the force.” 4: Frosty: “I appreciate the thought, but I’m afraid that’s more of a platitude than an answer. Also, thanks to climate change, I now spend most of the year dead.” Ahsoka: “What’s the lesson you want me to learn from this, Master?” 5: Anakin: “No lesson, Snips. I just wanted you to see this cool snowman. Those kids built him structurally sound arms and legs without the need for any internal support.” Ahsoka: “That’s some quality snowmanship.”
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Published December 13, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, Frosty the Snowman, Star Wars

Straight Outta Hell

Panel 1: Location: Jurassic Park jungle. Raptors wander around in the background. John Hammond: “Thank you for coming, Alan and Ellie. I have a fascinating discovery to share with you. One of our amber samples has primitive human DNA preserved in a mosquito alongside dinosaur DNA!” Alan Grant: “The hell you say!” Ellie Sattler: “Why, this could change everything we think we know about the history of life on Earth!” Hammond: “Naturally, we cloned both the dinosaur and the human.” Grant: “The hell you say!” Hammond: “Allow me to introduce…” 2: Hammond: “Mr. Fred Flintstone and his pet snorkasaurus, Dino.” Fred, waving: “Hiya! I’ve been dead a long time. It’s strange bein’ alive again.” Sattler: “Are you saying you remember your past life?” Grant: “The hell you say!” Fred: “That’s right. Mr. Hammond cloned me a new body which caused my soul to be ripped right out of hell itself.” 3: Hammond: “That’s how human souls work, apparently.” Grant: “Hell, you say?” Hammond: “It seems that everyone who died more than 2000 years ago went to Hell for some reason. It’s been a very educational week here at Jurassic Park.” Sattler: “So what’s Hell like?” Fred: “It’s not so bad.” 4: Fred: “There aren’t any dinosaurs tryin’ to eat you, for one thing. All the Nazis are there, but they don’t have YouTube or Twitter to spread their message. The worst part of Hell is, there’s always some repentant soul tryin’ to teach you a lesson about life. All that preachin’ gets real old.” 5: Location: World Between Worlds. Anakin Skywalker (old ghost): Has anyone seen Fred Flintstone lately? I want to introduce him to someone.” Ahsoka looks bored and sighs. Off-screen: “Nein!” Anakin: “I’m not talking to you, Adolf. Like, ever, as a general rule.”
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Published May 17, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, Dino, Dr. Alan Grant, Ellie Sattler, Fred Flintstone, John Hammond, Jurassic Park, Star Wars, The Flintstones

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