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New Dorothy, Who Dis?

Location: Cantina Panel 1: Quintesson: “Your face is disgusting and your clothing is inappropriate for this location.” Cobra Commander, reptile form with a torn outfit: “Geez, I just had a little wardrobe malfunction.” 2: Quintesson, speaking to Buzz Lightyear (Chris Evans): “You are an undesirable retcon. The true Buzz Lightyear is an original action figure character, not based on a film.” 3: Two Quints speaking to Jabba the Hutt, who is holding his vape/bong thing. Quint 1: “Your obesity is both unhealthy and unattractive.” Quint 2: “Vaping does not make you look cool.” 4: Quint, speaking to a Jurassic Park velociraptor holding a beer: “You are too large and you should have feathers.” 5: Quint, speaking to Skeletor: “Please cover your face. Your exposed skull is disturbing. And don’t even get me started on your whole Jared Leto situation.” 6: Quints speaking to Bert and Ernie. Quint 1: “You two are queerbaiting.” Quint 2: “Please just make out already.” Ernie: “Make out? What’s out?” Bert: “You know. The opposite of in.” 7: Blanche Devereaux: “Are you going to introduce me to your egg-shaped friends, Dorothy? Some of their faces are unconventionally handsome.” Dorothy Zbornak: “You don’t want to get involved with the Quintessons, Blanche. They’re judgmental about everything.” Quint 1: “You are too old for us.” Quint 2: “And you have upon you the stench of too many previous lovers.” Quint 1: “Some of them human.”
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Published April 16, 2026
Categorized as Comics Tagged Bert, Blanche Devereaux, Buzz Lightyear, Cobra Commander, Dorothy Zbornak, Ernie, G.I. Joe, Golden Girls, Jabba the Hutt, Jurassic Park, Masters of the Universe, Quintesson, Sesame Street, Skeletor, Star Wars, Toy Story, Transformers

April Leighth

Location: Autobot base Panel 1: Whirl: “Hey, Lifeline!” Off-panel: “Whirl…” 2: Whirl holding up Lifeline’s arm: “I got your arm!” Lifeline, left arm missing: “I noticed.” Whirl: “April fools!” Lifeline: “Whirl…” 3: Lifeline: “Do you remember the discussion we had about bodily autonomy?” Whirl: “Sigh. Yes. ‘Don’t dismember your friends without their consent.’” Lifeline: “That’s right.” 4: Lifeline, reattaching her arm: “Besides, April Fool’s Day was last week.” Whirl: “Well, yeah. It’s not funny if you’re expecting it.”
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Published April 10, 2026
Categorized as Comics Tagged Lifeline, Transformers, Whirl

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