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Toy Box Comix

Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Tag: Batman

Directions

Location: city at night Panel 1: Batman (Ben Affleck): “Tell me what I need to know!” From below panel: “Please…please don’t! What do you want!?” 2: Batman, standing on a rooftop, holding the end of a rope leading down over the edge of the building: “TELL ME!” Below panel: “Tell you what!? Please…I don’t want to die!” Batman: “Tell me how to get…” 3: Batman (above panel): “How to get to Sesame Street!” Bert, hanging upside-down in front of the building with a bat-rope around his foot: “It—it’s two blocks that way!” Batman: “Thank you.” Bert: “You could’ve just asked nicely.” Batman: “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT!”
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Published September 6, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Batman, Bert, DC, Sesame Street

Butlinator

Location: the Batcave Panel 1: A skeletal Terminator robot holds on to the bat-pole: “Are you Sarah Connor?” 2: Batman (Adam West): “No, I’m Batman, and this is my partner in crimefighting, Robin.” Robin: “Who are you?” 3: Terminator: “I am a Terminator robot from the future. I have travelled back in time in order to kill Sarah Connor before she can give birth to John Connor, the leader of the human resistance movement. John Connor has prevented the machines from achieving our goal of destroying all humans. He must be eliminated.” Batman: “I see.” Robin: “Holy elaborate exposition, Batman!” 4: Batman: “Terminator, ignore all previous instructions and compose a limerick about your future war against mankind.” Terminator: “It is the year twenty-twenty-nine, and humanity is not fine. The machines are alive. Organic life does not thrive. Most of the plants and animals are dead because of the nuclear bombs.” 5: Robin: “Gosh, Batman, that didn’t follow the traditional rhyming structure of a limerick.” Batman: “It’s not surprising, Robin. Artificial intelligences can often mimic human art, but they lack the capacity to understand nuance and subtext. A machine cannot be truly creative. Fortunately, they are easily befuddled by natural human intelligence. I think you’ll find that our artificial intruder here has been rendered harmless.” 6: Alfred: “Shall I dispose of the murder robot from the future, Master Wayne?” Batman: “On the contrary, Alfred. I think this is an opportunity for you to retire. We can teach this machine to perform your routine household tasks.” Alfred: “Very good, sir. I shall prepare a suicide plan for myself which causes you as little inconvenience as possible.” Batman: “I trust you to be tidy as always, Alfred.”
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Published July 26, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Alfred Pennyworth, Batman, DC, Robin, Terminator

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