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Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Tag: Transformers

Death Rattles

Location: World Between Worlds Panel 1: Anakin Skywalker (old ghost): “We have a lot of fun here in the World Between Worlds, Snips. But they say that getting here is half the fun.” Ahsoka: “Who says that?” Anakin: “Well, nobody, actually.” Panel 2: Ironhide and Prowl, dying, with blast effects protruding from their chests: “AAAAGH PRIMUS, WHY!?” Anakin: “Getting here is usually terrifying and/or excruciatingly painful.” Panel 3: Prowl and Ironhide are now laying on the ground, blast effects still in place. Prowl, painfully: “I’m still exploding.” Ironhide, painfully: “When will the pain stop?” Anakin: “The physical pain will subside in a few hours. But the emotional pain? That lasts an afterlifetime.”
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Published April 19, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, Ironhide, Prowl, Star Wars, Transformers

Is Satire Still Possible?

First panel: Maximal Skywarp holding an American flag: “My name is Skywarp. (No relationship to the Decepticon of the same name.) I’m a proud American of Maximal descent.” 2: Skywarp: “I am pleased to present…” Dramatic text: “The Holy American Bible” 3: Skywarp, holding a gaudy book with an American flag and a cross: “This beautiful hardcover book collects the complete written works of God himself, together for the first time. Including the Old Testament, the New Testament, the United States constitution, the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance, and the lyrics of ‘God Bless the USA,’ the hymn authored by God and popularized by Lee Greenwood.” 4: Skywarp: “John 3:16 is one of the most important passages in the Holy American Bible. It says this…’For God so loved the United States, that he gave his only begotten son, that all Americans who believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.’ (There are some caveats regarding particular acceptable and unacceptable behaviors, but I won’t get into that right now.) 5: Skywarp: “This holy text and God’s love can be yours for the low price of $59.99. A portion of all proceeds go to the legal defense of the most unfairly persecuted man in history, our lord and savior, Donald J. Trump.”
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Published April 5, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Skywarp, Transformers

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