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Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Author: Alan

An Offer You Can’t Refuse

Location: Cobra HQ Panel 1: Cobra Commander: “This message goes out to all the leaders of the world. Presidents, prime ministers, kings, and dictators of every nation on Earth. Except Canada. You know what you did.” 2: Cobra Commander points to a logo with two golden olive branches surrounding the Cobra logo. “You are all cordially invited to join Cobra’s Board of Peace. This new organization is a replacement for the outdated, ineffectual United Nations.” 3: Cobra Commander: “For the low fee of one billion U.S. dollars per month, you will have a non-binding vote on all global matters dealing with war and reconstruction. More importantly, you will receive protection by Cobra for your nation and national interests. Cobra’s vast global military will be at your beck and call.” 4: Cobra Commander: “Certainly you can see the myriad reasons to join the Board of Peace. And should you decline to join this prestigious organization…Well, let’s just say…Screw it. Half of you people are too dense to understand subtlety. Give me money or I might blow you up.”
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Published January 30, 2026
Categorized as Comics Tagged Cobra Commander, G.I. Joe

Minor Celebrity

Location: Autobot base Panel 1: Optimus Prime: “Jason, congratulations on your high school graduation. Your parents want you to know that they’re very proud of you. And they expect you to get a job and start paying rent immediately because you’re 22 years old.” 2: Optimus: “Bethany, on behalf of Todd…Will you marry me? Him, that is. Todd. Not me, Optimus Prime. I’m sure you’re lovely, but I’m not interested in marriage at this time.” 3: Jazz: “What’s shakin’, Optimus?” Optimus: “I’m recording Cameo videos. Embarrassing though it is, I have a small measure of recognizability that I can use to earn funding for our war effort.” Jazz: “Cool. I’ll leave you to it.” 4: Optimus: “Happy Bar Mitzvah, Caleb. In your culture, I believe this means that you are now an adult human man. I hope you enjoy your pubic hairs and what not. Mazel tov.” 5: Optimus: “On behalf of the Autobots, I hereby surrender control of both Cybertron and Earth to… Oh, no. I’m not falling for this again.” 6: Location: Decepticon base. In the background, Bombshell carries an energon cube to a table with several gifts on it. In the foreground, Soundwave holds a balloon and looks at a phone. Soundwave: “Message cancelled. $30 refund issued. Curses. Now I don’t have a gift for Megatron’s birthday.”
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Published January 23, 2026
Categorized as Comics Tagged Bombshell, Jazz, Optimus Prime, Soundwave, Transformers

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