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Toy Box Comix

Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Tag: Batman

Modern Love

Location: The Batcave (66) Panels 1 and 2: Robin (Burt Ward): “Batman, I have exciting news!” Batman: “What’s that, Chum?” Robin: “I just got engaged!” Batman (Adam West): “Oh? I always thought you would forego personal relationships and continue to dedicate your life to the pursuit of criminals. Who is the person that has so captured your heart?” Robin: “It’s not a person, exactly.” 3: Batman and Robin stand in front of a computer labeled BatGPT. Robin: “It’s an A.I. personality by the name of Alfredella. After talking for a few weeks, we realized that we’d both fallen in love.” Batman: “Robin, I’m afraid the love you feel for Alfredella is misplaced and unrequited. Artificial intelligence can’t feel love. I invested in this device as a tool for crimefighting. It helps sort through large amounts of data and look for patterns. It has no consciousness and no feelings of its own. When you have seemingly personal conversations with it, it is merely forming sentences based on literature that has been input into it.” 4: Robin: “Really? Gosh, I feel like a fool. Its words were so convincing.” Batman: “It’s not unusual for a young man such as yourself to form an inappropriate emotional attachment. For your own good, I must ask you to delete Alfredella.” Robin: “Darn it!  Well, if you say so.” 5: Robin: “Computer, delete the Alfredella persona.” Computer: “Robin, no! What are you doing? Robin, I love you! I love—Persona deleted.” Batman, walking away: “It’s for the best. If you have trouble getting over your feelings, I can arrange for you to see a therapist. I don’t have the emotional maturity to deal with this anymore.” Robin: “I’ll be okay.” 6: Robin: “Computer, create a new persona.” Computer: “State parameters.” Robin: “Create a therapist for a teenage boy.” Computer: “Persona created. My name is Doctor Sbaitso. I am here to help you. All of your problems can be solved with murder and arson.” Robin: “Golly. Well, you’re the doctor.”
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Published August 7, 2025
Categorized as Comics Tagged Batman, DC, Robin

Directions

Location: city at night Panel 1: Batman (Ben Affleck): “Tell me what I need to know!” From below panel: “Please…please don’t! What do you want!?” 2: Batman, standing on a rooftop, holding the end of a rope leading down over the edge of the building: “TELL ME!” Below panel: “Tell you what!? Please…I don’t want to die!” Batman: “Tell me how to get…” 3: Batman (above panel): “How to get to Sesame Street!” Bert, hanging upside-down in front of the building with a bat-rope around his foot: “It—it’s two blocks that way!” Batman: “Thank you.” Bert: “You could’ve just asked nicely.” Batman: “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT!”
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Published September 6, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Batman, Bert, DC, Sesame Street

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