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Toy Box Comix

Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Tag: DC

Pbpbpbpb?

Panel 1: Caption: “Long ago…” Elita-1 (Cybertronian): “I’m coming with you aboard the Ark, Optimus.” 2: Optimus Prime (Cybertronian): “No, Elita. It’s too dangerous.” 3: Elita: “What? Come on, man. I’m just as capable as any of your other warriors.” Optimus: “Someone has been telling you diabolical lies. Your gender makes was decided by Primus himself. Your delicate fee-male body makes you far more suited to homemaking and raising children than fighting a war. Battle is for males and I am unapologetic in my masculinity. Now stay here and have my dinner ready when I get home.” 4: Caption: “Now: Daily Planet reporter Lois Lane profiles Optimus Prime…” Lois: “Is that how you remember it, Optimus?” Optimus: “She’s exaggerating.” Elita: “A little. But he did make a conscious decision to leave me and the other female Autobots on Cybertron while he brought only male warriors with him on the ark.” Optimus: “That was a long time ago. I thought I was being chivalrous. I've learned a few things since I’ve been around humans for 40 years.” 5: Lois: “Like what?” Optimus: “Gender roles are largely a product of culture rather than biology. What we think of as chivalry or traditional values can often be considered sexist or condescending. Just because something is traditional doesn’t mean it’s good. We should always be willing to listen to others and reconsider traditions.” Lois: “You should never stop learning.” Optimus: “I try. In fact, I’ve been learning…” 6: Optimus: “…to play the trombone.” Optimus holds a trombone which goes HORNK! Elita, with her hands on her horns: “Stop learning! STOP LEARNING!” Lois: “I have no mouth, and I must raspberry.”
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Published June 7, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged DC, Elita-1, Lois Lane, Optimus Prime, Transformers

Vegetation

Location: Batcave (66) Panel 1: Batman (Adam West): “Good morning, Question. You’re here early.” Panel 2: The Question: “Late, actually. Robin and I stayed up all night doing research.” Panel 3: Batman: “What sort of research?” Question: “The Tennessee state legislature recently passed a bill requiring state regulations of vaccines in food products. The bill’s sponsor made two extraordinary claims. First, that the federal government is planning to add vaccines to food such as lettuce in order to force vaccination on the public…and second, that mRNA vaccines alter the DNA of the recipient.” Panel 4: Batman: “Fascinating. And what have you found?” Question (standing in front of a computer labelled “BAT-GENE RESEQUENCER” with a pile of vegetable): “I haven’t found any means through which the ingestion of lettuce could result in DNA modification. I have, however, had some interesting results…” Panel 5: Question, holding a carrot with a face: “…with carrots.” Carrot: “Holy genetic transmutation, Batman!” Batman: “Robon?” Carrot: “Gosh, maybe I should stay home from school today. I might have trouble taking notes in class.” Panel 6: Batman: “Under the circumstances, that’s probably for the best.” Carrot: “At least my COVID vaccination is up to date now. And my low-light vision has never been more acute.” Batman: “Good work getting to the root of this mystery.”
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Published April 12, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Batman, DC, Robin, The Question

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