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Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Tag: Jean-Luc Picard

Space Crimes

Location: Enterprise-D observation lounge Panel 1: Captain Picard: “My orders are to provide you with my complete cooperation. My ship and crew are at your disposal.” 2: Star Trek: The Next Generation-style title: “Galactic Crime Spree!” Batman (Adam West): “Thank you, Captain. It will be our pleasure to work with such a fine group of officers. Now, time is of the essence. I’d like to start the briefing.” Picard: “By all means.” 3: A photo of the Joker (Caesar Romero) on the screen. Batman: “Two days ago, the archcriminal known as The Joker escaped from Gotham State Prison. He traveled to Deep Space Nine, where he stole the starship Defiant. He then began terrorizing the quadrant by committing a series of space crimes.” 4: The screen now shows the Defiant. Robin (Burt Ward): “So far he’s whitened a black hole, dewormed a wormhole, and mooned a sun.” Batman: “The Defiant is currently en route to Earth’s solar system. We hope to intercept the Joker before he commits his next crime.” 5: Riker: “Do you know what he’s planning next?” Batman: “We believe he intends to toilet paper Uranus.” Picard: “Merde.” Batman: “Precisely.”
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Published December 28, 2023
Categorized as Comics Tagged Batman, DC, Jean-Luc Picard, Robin, Star Trek, Will Riker, Worf

Son of Baltar

First panel: Star Trek: The Next Generation-style title: “Porcine Elongation.” Captain Picard, pointing to a replicator: “You see, Ambassador, we have replicator technology which creates food and other items at the molecular level.” Second panel: Picard: “We can program your recipes into the computer so you don’t even have to cook. We no longer raise animals just for food.” Kanamit (from The Twilight Zone), holding a cookbook: “Amazing! This technology could end the conflict between our peoples.” Third panel: Kanamit: “This device can create human meat that tastes like the real thing?” Picard: “Some people claim they can discern a difference between replicated and natural food, but I think it’s mostly imagined. I must admit that sometimes I long for the days of my youth. My father would serve real meat that he had slow-cooked for hours. He refused such modern conveniences as replicators.” Fourth panel: Picard: “I haven’t eaten natural meat since my mother’s memorial service. I think you would have liked my mother, ambassador. She was delicious.”
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Published August 15, 2023
Categorized as Comics Tagged Jean-Luc Picard, Kanamit, Star Trek, The Twilight Zone

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