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Toy Box Comix

Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Tag: Transformers

Totally Not an Upside-Down Gun

First panel: The Adventures of Sixshot: Ninja Consultant Second panel: Swerve’s Bar, with Swerve behind the counter. Sixshot: “The ninja consultation business has been a bit slow lately.” Blackarachnia: “The amount that I care is equal to the amount of engex left in my glass.” Sixshot: “But I’ve got a great idea for a side hustle!” Blackarachnia: “You clearly haven’t noticed that my glass is empty.” Third panel: The Mos Eisley cantina, with Dorothy Zbornak behind the bar. Caption: “Soon…” Sixshot to John Hammond and Destro: “You guys are billionaires, right? Have I got an opportunity for you! That’s not a question. I do.” Fourth panel: Sixshot in submarine mode next to the wreckage of the Titanic. Caption: “Later…” Sixshot: “Good news! We’ve reached the wreckage of the Titanic as promised. Bad news: there’s been a bit of a…surprise with regards to water pressure. I’m gonna need a volunteer to get out and push.”
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Published June 29, 2023
Categorized as Comics Tagged Blackarachnia, Destro, Dorothy Zbornak, G.I. Joe, Golden Girls, John Hammond, Jurassic Park, Sixshot, Swerve, Transformers

Procreation

First panel: Alpha Trion: “Here we are, bringing new life into the world. New young bots, saddled with the responsibilities forced upon them by a broken society that existed long before they did. Burdened to fight a war not of their making. They don’t ask to exist. We create them and they have to figure out how to live. Our actions create their consequences.” Second panel: Alpha Trion: “We tell ourselves that we’re being selfless by creating and caring for the next generation. But is that true? Or are we really being selfish and egotistical by thinking that we can create a new generation that solves the problems that we can’t? Our species has created so much pain and anguish. Do we deserve to continue to exist? Would the universe be better off if we allowed ourselves to go extinct?” Third panel: Vector Sigma to Alpha Trion: “I am a computer. I am not programmed for ethical consideration. Speaking of which…” Fourth panel: Vector Sigma: “I made this for you.” Beast Wars Fuzor Injector: “AAAGH! WHAT AM I?! Part insect, part fish? What…the hell? WHY AM I?! Every moment of my brief life has been filled with existential horror.” Fifth panel: Alpha Trion: “Oh, Vector Sigma. Your whimsical creations always lighten my mood.” Vector Sigma: “Now, young one, you must get an education so you can get a job to afford to pay for student loans and health insurance in order to prolong your terrible existence.” Injector: “Okay, dad.” Vector Sigma: “And I expect grandkids.”
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Published June 15, 2023
Categorized as Comics Tagged Alpha Trion, Beast Wars, Injector, Transformers, Vector Sigma

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