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Toy Box Comix

Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Tag: Beast Wars

Cute Li’l Guy

First panel: Optimus Primal and Rhinox look down at an open stasis pod. Optimus: “Hello, friend. This is Rhinox and I’m Optimus Primal, leader of the Maximals here on Earth.” Second panel: Armordillo, in beast mode, looking up out of the stasis pod: “Call me Armordillo.” Third panel: Armordillo: “Is that a good name? I just came online and I’m not sure I have a good understanding of wordplay yet. Armordillo, maximize!” Fourth panel: Armordillo in robot mode: “It looks like I have a foot that’s a flail and a foot that’s a laser gun.” Fifth panel: Armordillo: “Oh, and there’s a slim but nonzero chance that I could give you leprosy. But don’t worry. It’s—" Sixth panel: Optimus and Rhinox are nowhere to be seen. Armordillo: “—Curable. So I guess I’ll meet you guys back at base? Um, you forgot to tell me where the base is.” Seventh panel: In the background, Rattrap aims his gun at Armordillo’s back. Armordillo: “He said this is Earth, right? Is that the planet with Florida? Maybe I’ll go to Florida.”
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Published August 17, 2023
Categorized as Comics Tagged Armordillo, Beast Wars, Optimus Primal, Rattrap, Rhinox

Procreation

First panel: Alpha Trion: “Here we are, bringing new life into the world. New young bots, saddled with the responsibilities forced upon them by a broken society that existed long before they did. Burdened to fight a war not of their making. They don’t ask to exist. We create them and they have to figure out how to live. Our actions create their consequences.” Second panel: Alpha Trion: “We tell ourselves that we’re being selfless by creating and caring for the next generation. But is that true? Or are we really being selfish and egotistical by thinking that we can create a new generation that solves the problems that we can’t? Our species has created so much pain and anguish. Do we deserve to continue to exist? Would the universe be better off if we allowed ourselves to go extinct?” Third panel: Vector Sigma to Alpha Trion: “I am a computer. I am not programmed for ethical consideration. Speaking of which…” Fourth panel: Vector Sigma: “I made this for you.” Beast Wars Fuzor Injector: “AAAGH! WHAT AM I?! Part insect, part fish? What…the hell? WHY AM I?! Every moment of my brief life has been filled with existential horror.” Fifth panel: Alpha Trion: “Oh, Vector Sigma. Your whimsical creations always lighten my mood.” Vector Sigma: “Now, young one, you must get an education so you can get a job to afford to pay for student loans and health insurance in order to prolong your terrible existence.” Injector: “Okay, dad.” Vector Sigma: “And I expect grandkids.”
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Published June 15, 2023
Categorized as Comics Tagged Alpha Trion, Beast Wars, Injector, Transformers, Vector Sigma

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