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By Alan Young

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Tag: Optimus Prime

Data Recovery, Part 2

Location: Decepticon base Panel 1: Megatron, holding a floppy disk: “At long last, I am in possession of a copy of Optimus Prime’s brain from 1986!” Panel 2: Thrust: “What’re you gonna do with that, Megatron?” Megatron: “That is none of your concern.” Thrust: “I want in on the plan. I’m bored. Megatron: “Go stick your head in a pencil sharpener.” Thrust: “I did that already.” Panel 3: Off-panel: “I-I don’t understand, Megatron. Why have you restored me to life…like this?” Megatron, pointing his fusion cannon off-screen: “Because, Optimus Prime, I intend to do something. Something I’ve been dreaming of for a long, long time.” Panel 4: Megatron sits on the lap of a large plush Optimus (Softimus) Prime. Optimus: “What am I supposed to do now, Megatron?” Megatron. “Nothing. Just hold me.” Optimus: “Cuddling is the right of all sentient beings.”
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Published November 15, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Megatron, Optimus Prime, Softimus Prime, Thrust, Transformers

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Panel 1: Caption: “Long ago…” Elita-1 (Cybertronian): “I’m coming with you aboard the Ark, Optimus.” 2: Optimus Prime (Cybertronian): “No, Elita. It’s too dangerous.” 3: Elita: “What? Come on, man. I’m just as capable as any of your other warriors.” Optimus: “Someone has been telling you diabolical lies. Your gender makes was decided by Primus himself. Your delicate fee-male body makes you far more suited to homemaking and raising children than fighting a war. Battle is for males and I am unapologetic in my masculinity. Now stay here and have my dinner ready when I get home.” 4: Caption: “Now: Daily Planet reporter Lois Lane profiles Optimus Prime…” Lois: “Is that how you remember it, Optimus?” Optimus: “She’s exaggerating.” Elita: “A little. But he did make a conscious decision to leave me and the other female Autobots on Cybertron while he brought only male warriors with him on the ark.” Optimus: “That was a long time ago. I thought I was being chivalrous. I've learned a few things since I’ve been around humans for 40 years.” 5: Lois: “Like what?” Optimus: “Gender roles are largely a product of culture rather than biology. What we think of as chivalry or traditional values can often be considered sexist or condescending. Just because something is traditional doesn’t mean it’s good. We should always be willing to listen to others and reconsider traditions.” Lois: “You should never stop learning.” Optimus: “I try. In fact, I’ve been learning…” 6: Optimus: “…to play the trombone.” Optimus holds a trombone which goes HORNK! Elita, with her hands on her horns: “Stop learning! STOP LEARNING!” Lois: “I have no mouth, and I must raspberry.”
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Published June 7, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged DC, Elita-1, Lois Lane, Optimus Prime, Transformers

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