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Toy Box Comix

Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Let’s See if I Add Any Jerks to My Block List Today

First panel: Dorothy Zbornak: “Hi, Victor. It’s been a while. What’s—” Dr. Doom: “Doom is—“ Second panel: Dr. Doom, dramatically: “Angry that Transformers have gone woke!” Third panel: Dorothy: “Using the word woke in a derogatory sense is a good way to get on my bad side, Victor. So what are you planning to do about it?” Doom, holding an iPad: “I have created my own Transformers film and put it on YouTube. Observe, Dorothy Zbornak.” Fourth panel: Movie Megatron: “I, the evil woke Decepticon Megatron, have come to earth –with books! Books designed to teach Earth children all sorts of evil woke ideas! Books that will cause them to question their devotion to their governments by teaching them about their countries’ historical evils! Books that will cause them to question their sexual orientation and gender identity by teaching them that their feelings are normal and acceptable! My woke ideas will cause the Earth to fall!” Fifth panel: Movie Optimus Prime: “I, the heroic anti-woke Autobot Optimus Prime, have come to stop the evil Megatron! His evil ideas must be destroyed! Children must never learn about historical evils, lest they lose faith in their governments! We must not normalize deviant ideas about sexual orientation and gender! Children must feel shame about their biology! Freedom is the right of all sentient beings! --within conservative government-defined boundaries. Also, there should be guns everywhere.” Sixth panel: Dorothy: “People love Transformers films because of all the political arguments.” Doom, dramatically: “I AM APOLITICAL!”

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Published May 25, 2023By Alan
Categorized as Comics Tagged Dorothy Zbornak, Dr. Doom, Golden Girls, Marvel, Megatron, Optimus Prime, Transformers

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