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By Alan Young

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Author: Alan

A Long Trip to a Bad Punchline

Location: Haunted house Panel 1: Dracula: “Curses! My bloody plot has been foiled. I would have gotten away with it if not for—” 2: Dracula: “—Holmes and Watson.” Geordi LaForge as Watson: “Another case solved, eh, Holmes?” Data as Sherlock Holmes: “Indeed.” 3: Star Trek TNG-style title: “Mondegreen.” Dracula: “…and these meddling kids and their talking dog.” A wider shot showing the Scooby gang behind Data and Geordi. Freddy: “You’re going back into long-term storage, Dracula!” Scooby-Doo: “Rou riant rucking rerd!” 4: Disembodied voice: “Senior officers, report to the bridge.” Data: “Computer, end program.” Dracula: “Blah.” 5: Location: holodeck grid. Data, Geordi, and Velma remain. Geordi: “Velma?” Data: “Are you not part of the holodeck program?” Velma: “I’m a flesh-and-blood person who got transported to the 24th century through a paranormal temporal anomaly.” 6: Velma, singing: “I ain’t no holo-deck girrrrl. I ain’t no holo-deck girrrrl.”
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Published May 1, 2026
Categorized as Comics Tagged Daphne Blake, Data, Dracula, Fred Jones, Geordi LaForge, Scooby-Doo, Shaggy Rogers, Star Trek, Velma Dinkley

New Dorothy, Who Dis?

Location: Cantina Panel 1: Quintesson: “Your face is disgusting and your clothing is inappropriate for this location.” Cobra Commander, reptile form with a torn outfit: “Geez, I just had a little wardrobe malfunction.” 2: Quintesson, speaking to Buzz Lightyear (Chris Evans): “You are an undesirable retcon. The true Buzz Lightyear is an original action figure character, not based on a film.” 3: Two Quints speaking to Jabba the Hutt, who is holding his vape/bong thing. Quint 1: “Your obesity is both unhealthy and unattractive.” Quint 2: “Vaping does not make you look cool.” 4: Quint, speaking to a Jurassic Park velociraptor holding a beer: “You are too large and you should have feathers.” 5: Quint, speaking to Skeletor: “Please cover your face. Your exposed skull is disturbing. And don’t even get me started on your whole Jared Leto situation.” 6: Quints speaking to Bert and Ernie. Quint 1: “You two are queerbaiting.” Quint 2: “Please just make out already.” Ernie: “Make out? What’s out?” Bert: “You know. The opposite of in.” 7: Blanche Devereaux: “Are you going to introduce me to your egg-shaped friends, Dorothy? Some of their faces are unconventionally handsome.” Dorothy Zbornak: “You don’t want to get involved with the Quintessons, Blanche. They’re judgmental about everything.” Quint 1: “You are too old for us.” Quint 2: “And you have upon you the stench of too many previous lovers.” Quint 1: “Some of them human.”
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Published April 16, 2026
Categorized as Comics Tagged Bert, Blanche Devereaux, Buzz Lightyear, Cobra Commander, Dorothy Zbornak, Ernie, G.I. Joe, Golden Girls, Jabba the Hutt, Jurassic Park, Masters of the Universe, Quintesson, Sesame Street, Skeletor, Star Wars, Toy Story, Transformers

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