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Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Tag: DC

Vegetation

Location: Batcave (66) Panel 1: Batman (Adam West): “Good morning, Question. You’re here early.” Panel 2: The Question: “Late, actually. Robin and I stayed up all night doing research.” Panel 3: Batman: “What sort of research?” Question: “The Tennessee state legislature recently passed a bill requiring state regulations of vaccines in food products. The bill’s sponsor made two extraordinary claims. First, that the federal government is planning to add vaccines to food such as lettuce in order to force vaccination on the public…and second, that mRNA vaccines alter the DNA of the recipient.” Panel 4: Batman: “Fascinating. And what have you found?” Question (standing in front of a computer labelled “BAT-GENE RESEQUENCER” with a pile of vegetable): “I haven’t found any means through which the ingestion of lettuce could result in DNA modification. I have, however, had some interesting results…” Panel 5: Question, holding a carrot with a face: “…with carrots.” Carrot: “Holy genetic transmutation, Batman!” Batman: “Robon?” Carrot: “Gosh, maybe I should stay home from school today. I might have trouble taking notes in class.” Panel 6: Batman: “Under the circumstances, that’s probably for the best.” Carrot: “At least my COVID vaccination is up to date now. And my low-light vision has never been more acute.” Batman: “Good work getting to the root of this mystery.”
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Published April 12, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Batman, DC, Robin, The Question

Interview With a Robot

Panel 1: Lois Lane: “Thank you for agreeing to an interview—” 2: Location: Autobot base. Lois and Optimus Prime are seated in chairs. Lois: “—Mr. Prime.” Optimus: “My pleasure, Ms. Lane. But please call me Optimus. Mr. Prime was my father. Not really. I don’t have a father in the biological sense. That was supposed to be a joke. Except for the part about calling me Optimus. I meant that part. I’m off to a bad start.” 3: Lois: “It’s been 40 years since you brought your war to Earth.” Optimus: “I think it would be more fair to say that Megatron is to blame for bringing the war to Earth.” Lois: “Do you deny responsibility for your participation in this war?” Optimus: “Well, no, but my goal has always been to protect this planet.” Lois: “Are you aware of the cost your war has had on Earth? Of the human lives lost?” Optimus: “Of course. Well, not in exact numbers, but I’m aware of the impact…” 4: Optimus: “I’m sorry, Ms. Lane. I was under the impression this would be more of a personal interview.” Lois: “You were expecting a puff piece?” Optimus: “I wouldn’t put it like that…” Lois: “Here’s a softball: where does your trailer go when you’re in robot mode?” Optimus: “I…don’t know, really. It’s an autonomic physiological function. Something about subspace, I think.” 5: Location: World Between Worlds. Anakin (old ghost) and Ahsoka stand in front of an Optimus Prime trailer, a Rodimus Prime trailer, and a Toxitron trailer. Anakin: “Search me, Snips. These things show up and disappear all the time without any explanation.”
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Published March 22, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, DC, Lois Lane, Optimus Prime, Star Wars, Transformers

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