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Toy Box Comix

Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Tag: Ironhide

Geriatric Medicine

Location: a seating area in the Ark Panel 1: Ironhide: “Every part of my body hurts or malfunctions when I get off the regeneration slab in the morning.” Kup: “No kidding. Fix one part of this old body and two more fall off. I’ve got this recurring glitch in my transformation cog…” 2: DK-2 Guard: “Good morning, bots.” Ironhide: “Look at this Diaclone-lookin’ whippersnapper.” Kup: “What’s your name again?” DK-2: “DK-2 Gurd, Esquire. Mind if I sit?” Ironhide: “Right, the lawyer.” Kup: “Come grace us with your youthful energy.” Ironhide: “When I was your age, I didn’t have a head. I had a sticker and imagination.” 3: Ironhide: “What does esquire mean, anyway?” Kup: “It’s an Earth word that means pretentious.” DK-2: “I need to remind you two about using the T-word.” Ironhide: “Yeay, yeah. Overusing forms of the word Transform dilutes the trademark or whatever.” DK-2: “That’s right. We can’t always depend on the Paramount Pictures legal department to protect our intellectual property rights. Try to call it a conversion cog.” 4: Ironhide: “Of all the stupid…” Kup: “How about if we call it a T-cog?” DK-2: “I’m gonna err on the side of caution and say no. The letter T used in that way might be too evocative.” Ironhide: “The letter T? You’re a real pain in the ailpipe, pal.” Kup: “Won’t the Converters get mad at us?” DK-2: “The Converters died out a long time ago.” Kup: “Too bad. They were nice folks. Kinda simple.” 5: Ironhide: “You know, Ratchet tells me I’ve got a low-T cog.” Kup: “You should ask him about…what’s it called…Transformium Replacement Therapy.” DK-2: “Come on, guys.” Kup: “Fine. You should ask him about Conversion Therapy.”
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Published September 20, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged DK-2 Guard, Ironhide, Kup, Transformers

Death Rattles

Location: World Between Worlds Panel 1: Anakin Skywalker (old ghost): “We have a lot of fun here in the World Between Worlds, Snips. But they say that getting here is half the fun.” Ahsoka: “Who says that?” Anakin: “Well, nobody, actually.” Panel 2: Ironhide and Prowl, dying, with blast effects protruding from their chests: “AAAAGH PRIMUS, WHY!?” Anakin: “Getting here is usually terrifying and/or excruciatingly painful.” Panel 3: Prowl and Ironhide are now laying on the ground, blast effects still in place. Prowl, painfully: “I’m still exploding.” Ironhide, painfully: “When will the pain stop?” Anakin: “The physical pain will subside in a few hours. But the emotional pain? That lasts an afterlifetime.”
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Published April 19, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, Ironhide, Prowl, Star Wars, Transformers

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