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By Alan Young

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Tag: Dorothy Zbornak

Woke

Location: Cantina Panel 1: Cross Country (G.I. Joe): “I’m in a good mood, Dorothy.” Dorothy Zbornak: “Why’s that, Cross Country?” CC: “The president’s gonna make sure the country isn’t woke anymore.” 2: Dorothy: “What does that mean, exactly?” CC: “You know. Woke. No more D.E.I. No more radical gender ideology. None of that woke stuff.” 3: Dorothy: “How about same-sex marriage? That’s pretty woke, right?” CC: “I reckon so.” Dorothy: “How about desegregation? That was a woke idea.” CC: “Um…” Dorothy: “Women’s suffrage? That’s woke.” CC: “Well…” Dorothy: “Ending slavery was really woke.” 4: Dorothy: “Declaring independence from the monarchy and forming a democracy where people had representation in the government? That’s a crazy woke idea.” 5: CC: “Um, I think I see what you’re getting at, Dorothy. I know what I need to do.” 6: Dorothy: “Where are you going?” CC, walking away, with a Confederate flag on the back of his shirt: “I’m gonna go find a garden where I can live naked. Everything that’s happened since Eden has been too damn woke.” Dorothy: “Don’t talk to any woke snakes.”
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Published March 12, 2025
Categorized as Comics Tagged Cross Country, Dorothy Zbornak, G.I. Joe, Golden Girls

Slay Ride

Location: Cantina Panel 1: Dorothy Zbornak: “’Tis the night before Christmas, and Santa is dressed…with weapons and ammo and a bullet-proof vest. Where are you going on this special night? You look like you plan to give someone a fright.” 2: Special Ops Santa: “All over the world, there’s a common refrain: for health insurance execs, there is much disdain. Their behavior is corrupt and very unfair. They kill people slowly by denying health care. Santa reads letters as he does every year, and answers this Christmas by donning battle gear.” 3: Dorothy: “The good girls and boys, they don’t ask for toys?” Santa: “Not this year, Dorothy. This season they speak: ‘dirty street justice is the gift that we seek!’ I must be going. Thanks for the snack. To bad CEOs, I’ll bring this gift from my sack.” 4: Santa, holding up a green pistol: “I hope they’ll do better after merely a threat, but if not, I’m afraid the gift they will get…is the present of lead at high speed through the head. I bid you good night, as the popular quote goes…merry Christmas to all! Deny, delay, and depose.” Author’s disclaimer: “Dear FBI: This isn’t a threat but merely a joke. A bit of guilty laughter, I hoped to evoke.”
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Published December 24, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Boba Fett, Chewbacca, Dorothy Zbornak, Golden Girls, Santa Claus, Star Wars

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