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Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Tag: Marvel

I’m the Odo Here

Location: Quark’s Bar Panel 1: DS9-style title: “Macrocephaly.” Odo: “What are those?” 2: Quark, with two Deadpool Pops. “They’re called Funko POP!s.” 3: Odo: “There’s no need to yell.” Quark: “The exclamation point is part of the name.” Odo: “A little humanoid doll with a giant head and a tiny body?” Quark: “I just got in a shipment from Earth.” 4: Quark: “They’re insanely popular. They’ve been one of Earth’s top exports for centuries. There are thousands of different varieties but they all look almost identical. Apparently that’s the whole appeal. I don’t get it but the profit margin is huge.” Odo: “Who could have such terrible taste that they’d buy one of these hideous things?” 5: Bashir: “Is that Deadpool having sex with a little unicorn?” Quark: “That’s right.” Bashir: “That’s hilarious! I’ll take it. Put it on my tab.” Quark: “It’s a pleasure doing business, Doctor.” Bashir: “I only have two of these dolls now, but I like them so much I want thirty!” 6: Worf: “Deadpool was a great warrior. This statue of him in a bath robe will have a place of honor on my knick-knack shelf.” Quark: “You were saying, Odo?” Odo: “Predictable.”
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Published May 14, 2025
Categorized as Comics Tagged Deadpool, Julian Bashir, Marvel, Morn, Odo, Quark, Star Trek, Worf

Let’s See if I Add Any Jerks to My Block List Today

First panel: Dorothy Zbornak: “Hi, Victor. It’s been a while. What’s—” Dr. Doom: “Doom is—“ Second panel: Dr. Doom, dramatically: “Angry that Transformers have gone woke!” Third panel: Dorothy: “Using the word woke in a derogatory sense is a good way to get on my bad side, Victor. So what are you planning to do about it?” Doom, holding an iPad: “I have created my own Transformers film and put it on YouTube. Observe, Dorothy Zbornak.” Fourth panel: Movie Megatron: “I, the evil woke Decepticon Megatron, have come to earth –with books! Books designed to teach Earth children all sorts of evil woke ideas! Books that will cause them to question their devotion to their governments by teaching them about their countries’ historical evils! Books that will cause them to question their sexual orientation and gender identity by teaching them that their feelings are normal and acceptable! My woke ideas will cause the Earth to fall!” Fifth panel: Movie Optimus Prime: “I, the heroic anti-woke Autobot Optimus Prime, have come to stop the evil Megatron! His evil ideas must be destroyed! Children must never learn about historical evils, lest they lose faith in their governments! We must not normalize deviant ideas about sexual orientation and gender! Children must feel shame about their biology! Freedom is the right of all sentient beings! --within conservative government-defined boundaries. Also, there should be guns everywhere.” Sixth panel: Dorothy: “People love Transformers films because of all the political arguments.” Doom, dramatically: “I AM APOLITICAL!”
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Published May 25, 2023
Categorized as Comics Tagged Dorothy Zbornak, Dr. Doom, Golden Girls, Marvel, Megatron, Optimus Prime, Transformers

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