Skip to content
Toy Box Comix

Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

  • About
  • Acknowledgements
  • Social Media
    • Mastodon
    • Blue Sky
    • Instagram
    • Tumblr
    • Facebook
    • Threads
  • RSS

Tag: G.I. Joe

Woke

Location: Cantina Panel 1: Cross Country (G.I. Joe): “I’m in a good mood, Dorothy.” Dorothy Zbornak: “Why’s that, Cross Country?” CC: “The president’s gonna make sure the country isn’t woke anymore.” 2: Dorothy: “What does that mean, exactly?” CC: “You know. Woke. No more D.E.I. No more radical gender ideology. None of that woke stuff.” 3: Dorothy: “How about same-sex marriage? That’s pretty woke, right?” CC: “I reckon so.” Dorothy: “How about desegregation? That was a woke idea.” CC: “Um…” Dorothy: “Women’s suffrage? That’s woke.” CC: “Well…” Dorothy: “Ending slavery was really woke.” 4: Dorothy: “Declaring independence from the monarchy and forming a democracy where people had representation in the government? That’s a crazy woke idea.” 5: CC: “Um, I think I see what you’re getting at, Dorothy. I know what I need to do.” 6: Dorothy: “Where are you going?” CC, walking away, with a Confederate flag on the back of his shirt: “I’m gonna go find a garden where I can live naked. Everything that’s happened since Eden has been too damn woke.” Dorothy: “Don’t talk to any woke snakes.”
Share this:
Published March 12, 2025
Categorized as Comics Tagged Cross Country, Dorothy Zbornak, G.I. Joe, Golden Girls

New Font, Who Dis?

Location: Cobra Missile Command Panel 1: Cobra Commander: “Destro, I need to talk to you about—” Destro: “It will have to wait, Commander. I’m very busy right now.” CoCo: “And just what is more important than Cobra?” Destro: “I’ve been working on a personal project. Haven’t you paid attention to the news lately?” CoCo: “Not really. I’ve been busy scheming to take over the world by force. Why?” Destro: “I bought the United States government.” 2: CoCo: “You…What do you mean, you bought the United States government?” Destro: “I took advantage of a unique confluence of events. A heavily brainwashed public, lax campaign finance laws, and an empty-headed presidential candidate who believes everything he sees on TV. For a mere 290 million dollars worth of campaign donations and some strategic schmoozing, I have effectively purchased the government.” CoCo: “A mere 290 million?” Destro: “I make that much in passive income every three minutes or so.” CoCo: “Huh. So what are you doing with your new toy?” 3: Destro: “Pointing at random expenses, declaring that they’re fraudulent, and using that as a pretense to shut down various agencies. My goals are to end government regulation so I can make even more money and to collect sensitive data for future use.” CoCo: “Is any of this legal?” Destro: “Commander, the law only matters if somebody bothers to enforce it. My allies are making sure that doesn’t happen.” CoCo: “And you can just single-handedly shut down government agencies.” Destro: “I do have some help.” 4: Destro, gesturing to two Iron Grenadiers: “These young men are my interns. You can call them Big Balls…” IG1: “Yo.” Destro: “…and NDNH8R1488.” IG2: “Heil.” CoCo: “How…How is any of this a thing? Is Congress okay with surrendering their authority?” Destro: “Apparently.” 5: CoCo: “Have I wasted my life?” Destro, walking away with the IGs: “You’ve simply made the mistake of not being born into a wealthy family. It’s a common error. Come along, boys.” IG1: “Where are we going today, Poppa-D?” Destro: “We’re going to the treasury to cut off Social Security checks.” IG2: “Aww. I wanna crash planes and say the N-word.” Destro: “That’s on the schedule for next Thursday.”
Share this:
Published February 11, 2025
Categorized as Comics Tagged Big Balls, Cobra Commander, Destro, G.I. Joe, Iron Grenadier, NDNH8R1488

Posts pagination

Page 1 … Page 69 Older posts

Random Comics!

GamerReptilesWingsSpace CrimesSupply Chain
  • Random Comic!
  • Acknowledgements
  • Social Media
  • About
  • RSS
Toy Box Comix
Proudly powered by WordPress.