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Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Tag: Mainframe

Bioengineering

Location: Cantina Panel 1: In the background, Mainframe (G.I. Joe) is holding a phone and tapping on a laptop. Pythona: “Electronic technology! How I abhor it!” 2: Dorothy Zbornak: “Cobra-La doesn’t have much technology, does it, Pythona?” 3: Pythona: “Oh, we have technology that’s functionally similar to yours. But instead of machines and electronics, we engineer with biology, as nature intended. For instance…” 4: Pythona: “Our world wide web is built by spiders. Our e-mail is delivered by elephants. Our iPhones are iguana phones. Our IP addresses are Indian pangolin addresses. Our VR is vampire bat reality. Our VPNSs are velociraptor-penguin networks. Our 2FA is two-fish authentication. Phishing is fishing.” 5: In the background, Mainframe looks on. Pythona: “Our SaaS is sting bug as a service. Our AI is ant intelligence. Our cloud computing is built by clouded plant bugs. Some insects are surprisingly good at math.” 6: Mainframe: “You know, we have technology made out of bugs, too. It’s called Microsoft Windows.”
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Published June 5, 2026
Categorized as Comics Tagged Dorothy Zbornak, G.I. Joe, Golden Girls, Mainframe, Pythona

A Very Orange Comic

Location: Autobot base Panel 1: Rodimus (human) sits at Mainframe (computer mode). Rodimus: “I hate monitor duty. One of the worst things about being stuck in a human body is having to stare at monitors to get information.” Mainframe: “You think that’s routh?” 2: Mainframe converts to robot mode: “Try being the monitor that gets stared at all day.” Rodimus: “Now I’m staring at your crotch. That’s worse.” 3: Thundertron, carrying a big bag: “Ahoy, ye landlubbers.” Nighstrike: “Arrr!” Rodimus: “Hey, who are you? How did you get in here?” Mainframe: “You were supposed to be watching the monitor.” Rodimus: “You were supposed to BE the monitor!” Thundertron: “My name be Thundertron. I mean ye no harm. I’m just a simple pirate passing through, peddling me discount warez.” Rodimus: “What kind of wares?” 4: Thundertron, holding some floppy disks: “Why, titles from the golden age of PC gaming, of course. Civilization. Commander Keen. Wolfenstein 3D. Multi-World. Scorched Earth. Wing Commander. Space Quest. Myst. All the levels be unlocked and there be no pesky copy protection.” Rodimus: “Hey, that’ll help pass the time on monitor duty.” 5: Thundertron: “Me prices be low.” Rodimus, holding a disk: “Pay the bot, Mainframe.” Thundertron: “Bitcoin, please. It be untraceable.” Mainframe: “Are you sure we can trust him, Rodimus?” Rodimus: “Chill out. It’s just software.” 6: Caption: “Later…” Mianframe, lying on a bed: “Error error error error.” Ratchet: “I’ve never seen so many computer viruses in one place before. I’m going to have to wipe his core consciousness and restore from a backup.” Rodimus: “Please do whatever you can, Doc. I couldn’t stand to lose…all my saved games.”
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Published October 25, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Mainframe, Nightstrike, Rodimus, Thundertron, Transformers

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