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Toy Box Comix

By Alan Young

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Slay Ride

Location: Cantina Panel 1: Dorothy Zbornak: “’Tis the night before Christmas, and Santa is dressed…with weapons and ammo and a bullet-proof vest. Where are you going on this special night? You look like you plan to give someone a fright.” 2: Special Ops Santa: “All over the world, there’s a common refrain: for health insurance execs, there is much disdain. Their behavior is corrupt and very unfair. They kill people slowly by denying health care. Santa reads letters as he does every year, and answers this Christmas by donning battle gear.” 3: Dorothy: “The good girls and boys, they don’t ask for toys?” Santa: “Not this year, Dorothy. This season they speak: ‘dirty street justice is the gift that we seek!’ I must be going. Thanks for the snack. To bad CEOs, I’ll bring this gift from my sack.” 4: Santa, holding up a green pistol: “I hope they’ll do better after merely a threat, but if not, I’m afraid the gift they will get…is the present of lead at high speed through the head. I bid you good night, as the popular quote goes…merry Christmas to all! Deny, delay, and depose.” Author’s disclaimer: “Dear FBI: This isn’t a threat but merely a joke. A bit of guilty laughter, I hoped to evoke.”
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Published December 24, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Boba Fett, Chewbacca, Dorothy Zbornak, Golden Girls, Santa Claus, Star Wars

The Eyes Have It

Location: Decepticon base Panel 1: Shockwave: “You seem disturbed, Megatron. May I inquire as to the source of your trouble?” Megatron: “It’s the recent American election, Shockwave.” 2: Megatron, smiling: “The humans have fully and democratically embraced fascism, Shockwave. An authoritarian government headed by some of the stupidest people possible! Meanwhile, even members of the so-called opposition party are compromising their values in a futile effort to win over the authoritarians.” 3: Shockwave: “I am aware of recent events, Megatron. The impending dysfunction will make it simple for us to plunder the resources of this planet.” Megatron: “That’s the problem, Shockwave.” 4: Megatron: “I’m bored! I can’t come up with a scheme that’s more effective than what the humans have done to themselves! All we have to do right now is wait.” Shockwave: “I see.” 5: Shockwave, holding up a Scrabble box: “May I interest you in a game of Scrabble to help pass the time?” Megatron: “Fine.” Shockwave: “I have removed half of the I tiles to even the odds.”
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Published December 20, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Megatron, Shockwave, Transformers

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