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By Alan Young

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Vegetation

Location: Batcave (66) Panel 1: Batman (Adam West): “Good morning, Question. You’re here early.” Panel 2: The Question: “Late, actually. Robin and I stayed up all night doing research.” Panel 3: Batman: “What sort of research?” Question: “The Tennessee state legislature recently passed a bill requiring state regulations of vaccines in food products. The bill’s sponsor made two extraordinary claims. First, that the federal government is planning to add vaccines to food such as lettuce in order to force vaccination on the public…and second, that mRNA vaccines alter the DNA of the recipient.” Panel 4: Batman: “Fascinating. And what have you found?” Question (standing in front of a computer labelled “BAT-GENE RESEQUENCER” with a pile of vegetable): “I haven’t found any means through which the ingestion of lettuce could result in DNA modification. I have, however, had some interesting results…” Panel 5: Question, holding a carrot with a face: “…with carrots.” Carrot: “Holy genetic transmutation, Batman!” Batman: “Robon?” Carrot: “Gosh, maybe I should stay home from school today. I might have trouble taking notes in class.” Panel 6: Batman: “Under the circumstances, that’s probably for the best.” Carrot: “At least my COVID vaccination is up to date now. And my low-light vision has never been more acute.” Batman: “Good work getting to the root of this mystery.”
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Published April 12, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Batman, DC, Robin, The Question

Is Satire Still Possible?

First panel: Maximal Skywarp holding an American flag: “My name is Skywarp. (No relationship to the Decepticon of the same name.) I’m a proud American of Maximal descent.” 2: Skywarp: “I am pleased to present…” Dramatic text: “The Holy American Bible” 3: Skywarp, holding a gaudy book with an American flag and a cross: “This beautiful hardcover book collects the complete written works of God himself, together for the first time. Including the Old Testament, the New Testament, the United States constitution, the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance, and the lyrics of ‘God Bless the USA,’ the hymn authored by God and popularized by Lee Greenwood.” 4: Skywarp: “John 3:16 is one of the most important passages in the Holy American Bible. It says this…’For God so loved the United States, that he gave his only begotten son, that all Americans who believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.’ (There are some caveats regarding particular acceptable and unacceptable behaviors, but I won’t get into that right now.) 5: Skywarp: “This holy text and God’s love can be yours for the low price of $59.99. A portion of all proceeds go to the legal defense of the most unfairly persecuted man in history, our lord and savior, Donald J. Trump.”
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Published April 5, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Skywarp, Transformers

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