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By Alan Young

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OPSEC

Location: Decepticon base Panel 1: Soundwave: “Megatron, the Autobots are mounting an offensive. E.T.A. two hours.” Megatron: “And we will be ready for them! The upgrades we made to our early warning system are paying off.” Soundwave: “Not exactly.” 2: Soundwave looks at a phone: “The Autobots inadvertently added me to their group text.” Text thread begins. Hot Shot: “Why do we have to text? Why can’t we just talk?” Prowl: “OPSEC” Hot Shot: “Optimus Prime’s secretary? You mean Elita?” Elita-1: “Hey, that’s sexist!” 3: Soundwave looks at his phone as the text thread continues. Prowl: “Operational security, doofus.” Elita: “Speaking of sexist…why am I the only woman on this mission?” Optimus Prime: “I chose the team for their skills, not their gender.” Elita: “Obviously. We’re gonna talk later.” Optimus: “I look forward to yet another conversation about gender issues.” Elita: “Then we’re gonna talk, if you know what I mean.” Eggplant, taco emoji. Hot Shot: “Ew. Human food is so gross.” 4: Soundwave looks at his phone as the text thread continues. Hot Shot: “Hey, I’m gonna scout ahead.” Optimus: “Negative, Hot Shot. Remain in formation.” Hot Shot: “Ow! Crap! I crashed into a boulder.” Prowl: “What where you’re going!” Hot Shot: “I can’t. I’m busy texting.” 5: Soundwave: “I think we can stand down our defenses for now, Megatron.” Text thread continues. Whirl: “Hey, I blew up a building!” Prowl: fist bump, Autobot symbol, fire emoji. Optimus: “A Decepticon building?” Whirl: “You’re gonna need a sieve and a forensics team to prove otherwise.”
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Published April 2, 2025
Categorized as Comics Tagged Elita-1, Hot Shot, Megatron, Optimus Prime, Prowl, Soundwave, Transformers, Whirl

An Esoteric Star Wars Joke

Location: Ten Forward Panel 1: Star Trek TNG-style title: “Fluid Melody.” Worf and Guinan stand across the bar. There’s a translucent white bottle on the bar and Worf is holding a white glass. Worf: “What is it?” Guinan: “Jizz.” 2: Worf: “Jizz?” Guinan: “Jizz.” 3: The angle shifts. Behind Worf are Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes (the Star Wars cantina band) with their instruments. Worf: “Jizz.” Guinan: “Jizz.” 4: Worf: “And the music?” Guinan: “No idea.”
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Published March 19, 2025
Categorized as Comics Tagged Figrin D'an, Guinan, Modal Nodes, Star Trek, Star Wars, Worf

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