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Piracy

Panel 1: Deathsaurus: “What is your name and why have you requested an audience with the mighty Deathsaurus?” 2: Thundertron: “My name be Thundertron. I’m a pirate. A mighty pirate! Arrr!” Nightstrike, on Thundertron’s shoulder: “Arrr!” 3: Thundertron: “It be me understanding that ye control this region of space.” Deathsaurus: “You understand correctly.” Thundertron: “I seek an arrangement to allow me crew to operate in the nearby shipping lanes.” Deathsaurus: “And why should I allow a band of pirates to plunder within my sphere of influence?” Thundertron: “Because we offer ye a generous portion of our booty, of course.” Deathsaurus: “What sorts of goods can I expect?” 4: Thundertron, holding up a VHS tape: “I be glad you asked. I brought samples. This be a copy of Transformers: Victory from the faraway land of Japan. The picture quality be poor and there be no subtitles. It be an authentic vintage viewing esperience.” Deathsaurus: “Intriguing. What else do you have to offer?” 5: Thundertron, holding another VHS tape: “This be a copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special. It’s never been sold in any official capacity. It features Bea Arthur, the first appearance of Boba Fett, and an elderly wookiee’s sexual fantasies.” Deathsaurus: “Those are some of my favorite things. Very well.” 6: Deathsaurus: “Leave my ships alone and you may operate with impunity within my space. You may go now, pirate, and return when you have more goods for my pleasure.” Thundertroon, looking down: “I thank ye. I be departin’ as soon as I get me peg leg unstuck from your grating. This keeps happenin’ to me.”
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Published October 11, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Deathsaurus, Nightstrike, Thundertron, Transformers

Geriatric Medicine

Location: a seating area in the Ark Panel 1: Ironhide: “Every part of my body hurts or malfunctions when I get off the regeneration slab in the morning.” Kup: “No kidding. Fix one part of this old body and two more fall off. I’ve got this recurring glitch in my transformation cog…” 2: DK-2 Guard: “Good morning, bots.” Ironhide: “Look at this Diaclone-lookin’ whippersnapper.” Kup: “What’s your name again?” DK-2: “DK-2 Gurd, Esquire. Mind if I sit?” Ironhide: “Right, the lawyer.” Kup: “Come grace us with your youthful energy.” Ironhide: “When I was your age, I didn’t have a head. I had a sticker and imagination.” 3: Ironhide: “What does esquire mean, anyway?” Kup: “It’s an Earth word that means pretentious.” DK-2: “I need to remind you two about using the T-word.” Ironhide: “Yeay, yeah. Overusing forms of the word Transform dilutes the trademark or whatever.” DK-2: “That’s right. We can’t always depend on the Paramount Pictures legal department to protect our intellectual property rights. Try to call it a conversion cog.” 4: Ironhide: “Of all the stupid…” Kup: “How about if we call it a T-cog?” DK-2: “I’m gonna err on the side of caution and say no. The letter T used in that way might be too evocative.” Ironhide: “The letter T? You’re a real pain in the ailpipe, pal.” Kup: “Won’t the Converters get mad at us?” DK-2: “The Converters died out a long time ago.” Kup: “Too bad. They were nice folks. Kinda simple.” 5: Ironhide: “You know, Ratchet tells me I’ve got a low-T cog.” Kup: “You should ask him about…what’s it called…Transformium Replacement Therapy.” DK-2: “Come on, guys.” Kup: “Fine. You should ask him about Conversion Therapy.”
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Published September 20, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged DK-2 Guard, Ironhide, Kup, Transformers

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